Greetings fellow pilgrims! I had stepped away from my stationary bike for several days in preparation for a cross country trip that starts this morning. I will be driving to Fort Leonard Wood Missouri to witness my son Max’s graduation from US Army engineer training. He will then drive back with me on Friday and Saturday.
I look forward to seeing him and I am proud of the seriousness with which he has training. My apprehension is about the likelihood that he will be travelling to Afganistan some time soon. I will spend my drive today sorting out my thoughts and feelings on the topic. In the mean time I have reposted my Jan 5th blog which was the day Max left for bootcamp. I am especially looking forward to my drive home with him, as the second poem notes (below) I never had such an opportunity with my own father. I will have more to say about the graduation and the trip in the days to come. Hold us in your prayers!
Jan 5, 2010
We watched at noon today as my son Max walked to a waiting van. Along with six other young men, they started a journey into manhood as warriors for our nation in a time of war. He carries on a tradition, from father to son. My grandfather an Army veteran of WWI sent his oldest son to the Army in WW2. He sent his youngest son, my father, into the Navy to fight in Korea. My father sent his oldest son, yours truly, into the Navy during the Vietnam War. Now I send my son Max into the Army to likely fight in our latest war. All of the “Edwards boys” came back in one piece; I pray that Max will continue with that tradition!
I searched the internet for a Soldier’s Prayer and found many. But none that was satisfactory for the feelings of relief, excitement and pride that I feel at this moment. They use names for God I do not use, and ask for things I would not ask. So I send my son off with two poems. Both were written in the past, one a product of my pride at his earlier warrior efforts. The second written with memories of my father in mind, longing for a dialogue that could never be, a dialogue I hope to someday have with my son.
War Games
Pass overhead
Squawking in support
As the ground forces
Surge forward
Tanks on the line
Fleet fast infantry
On the corners
HQ in the rear
The defense
Meets them head on
With a crash of pads
And helmets
Generals
Shout orders
From the sidelines
JV football practice
My eldest son
Mans the right side
Of the attacking line
Handshake and a handoff to the Army!
What I Knew Could Never Be
Its taken a quarter
Of a lifetime
For me to learn
How to speak.
I was not raised
To have opinions,
I was raised
To mouth my father’s words.
I was raised to act proper
To be seen and not heard.
Don’t follow the crowd
Follow me was the message.
He prefered to have me
Be different from my peers?
Not to challenge him
With my questions of youth?
My spirit left home
Before my body.
It journeyed to the sea,
Driven away
In search of acceptance
And the wonders I knew to be.
I saw my father
Only a few times in adulthood.
Superior I was, but sad I felt
At what I knew could never be,
A dialogue between father and son,
Two men, two voices
Pilgrim, my thoughts are with you, your son and your family. While my children are younger, I know how it feels to worry about children who may be in a life threatening situation. Your son is lucky to have such a good father, though, and I am convinced between that and his solid training, he will do well. Easy to say, I know.
How wonderful you express your feelings in poetry. Poems are words for the wordless, as well as a gift. You give both to your son.
Pat & Max,
I’m know how proud you both are. It is quite a feeling that I too have experienced.
My own son Tod, graduated from basic at Fort Jackson in about 1981. Then he went to Jump School, later to the 82nd Air-borne. In a morter team, he did fire a morter in Granada.
After his discharge, he stayed in the Army reserves and Army ROTC while using the GI bill on the 5-year plan. During his ROTC period he became brigade commander of 5 college campuses and graduated cumlaude.
Tod then got his commission in Military Intelligence. Later he became CO at Fort Jackson and had command of about a dozen DIs. Finally, he became part of the Army contengent with the USAF J-Stars at Warner Robins AFB. He had 6 tours (about 90 days each) in the East and Mid-East flying 12 to 18 hour sorties everyother day involving communicaitons and survelance at 65,000 feet. Now, he is a retired Major.
Max, I hope you too have a successful and rewarding military career.
I was in the US Navy for six years from 1960 to 1966 which included the early part of the Vietnam War. I was a missile launcher technition. 2 yrs of schools, 2 years new construction and 2 years on war patrols in the Med, North Atlantic, and Artic Ocean on a FBM Polaris Submarine.
Unlike Max’s grandfather, my father went to join the navy during WWII and he would be a starting as a chief machinest mate. Unfortunately, he was a tool & dye maker for Curtis Wright that had a government contract to build the Hell-diver airplanes for the Navy’s aircraft cariers and he was denied military duty.
Max, be safe and make the most of your military time. You will become a mature responsibile adult before you realize it. It can be the beginning of a great life.
Peace and Love, Glen Rowley
It is heartbreaking – I hope the best for your son!
Good luck – My heart is with you.
My prayers are with you, and with Max. I pray that God will keep him safe and also that through this different path he will find a way to come round to a place of fulfillment that will also put your heart at peace regarding him.
We sponsor a number of High School and post High School students. Almost all of them have absentee fathers. One father was abusive, in one died young, one has destroyed his life with alcohol.
I think they all have a problem visualizing God as Father. On the other hand they also hunger for fatherhood in their lives, and need this aspect of his being even more than some others.
Pat,
I recall some of our visits long ago wherein we discussed the ‘tao of life’. I have been thinking about your son and thinking about what I would do if one or both of my daughters were called to service such as your son..there was no answer at first, but eventually it was a very selfish ‘NO!!’ of course. I do not have that to contend with since neither daughter were at the age to qualify for military service, however, perhaps it is easier for me to share this following blog with you. I know that you will completely understand and please know that I support your son’s decision to enroll into military service. This is just where we are in our place in history in the United States and war is going to be with us for some time to come, unfortunately. Anyway, we need to find a place to dance with the need to go to war and yet make sense of it all….a really crazy dance, indeed. I really like this blog and what it has to say about the state of war:
http://74.125.45.132/search?q=cache:wcTA_Cy28hQJ:daodejingillustrated.blogspot.com/+tao+de+ching+war&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us
Your friend,
Kathleen
Kathleen, your site and art are amazing! Glad you posted that link.
I often reflect on the paradox of war. One of my few comforts is that most people, even in the armed forces, prefer and/or pray for peace. There is hope that we as human beings will someday find a better way to deal with our problems.
We Like Wars- George Carlin perspective.
hi pat
seeing the pictures of you and max warmed my heart. i could see the love and pride in your eyes and smile. please pass along to max that i am so proud of him. take care and keep sharing your gifts